Making memories

I still remember the feeling of utter astonishment the day after giving birth to my son. It was less than 36 hours after his arrival in this world and we were packing up to take him home. I was being pushed in a wheelchair by a nurse, and my husband was carrying the baby in the brand new car seat (which he had spent at least an hour trying to figure out how to put in the car). As we crossed the threshold leaving the hospital, I half expected a security alarm to go off. I simply couldn't fathom that they were letting us leave with this newborn. Didn't they realize we had absolutely no idea how to be parents?

Sure, we had books, and paperwork from the hospital to help us with the important stuff like feeding and bathing and cleaning the umbilical cord. But the enormity of the situation - that we were soley responsible for his well being - was overwhelming. It felt like maybe they had made a mistake.

I remember feeling that I wasted so much time reading about the pregnancy, and all the nuances of every stage while he was in my belly, that I had completely forgotten about the fact that before I knew it, he'd be in sitting in my lap looking at me for all the answers.

As I look at my kids now, one in the seventh grade, the other in the third, I still can feel overwhelmed. In a few years, he'll be driving. Have I prepared him for that? What if he doesn't pass Algebra this year? Is he making real friends? Is someone going to break her heart? Will they look back on their childhood and remember it fondly?

It's that last question that I think of often. I try and create memories for them, that will stay with them. Sometimes, my daughter and I like to start talking in British accents. We may do this for 2 hours. Even if we're in public. It makes us both giggle and my son crazy.

Or if something funny happens, we store it away and talk about it over and over. My daughter will say, remember that time when ... and we'll all laugh and remember it and know it is one of our special memories. When something new happens, she'll say "Can that be one of our special memories, Mom?"

Parenting isn't rocket science; it's about helping a child explore their world and helping them reach their greatest potential. It's about chasing fireflies and building campfires and reading bedtime stories. It's about saying no and fighting back tears. It's about picnics in the front yard and baseball games in the back. But most of all, it's about unconditional love.